Can We Talk…..Not text?

Him: I want to get to know you better……so tell me about yourself.

Her: I would love to tell you about me but not via text. Call me and let’s converse.

Texting-the act of typing and sending a brief electronic message 160 characters or less via wireless network to another person.

When I read that definition online, I started to think of how we have definitely gotten away from what texting should be. In the world of dating, people are attempting to get to know one another through texting. How is that possible? What ever happened to simple conversation via telephone?

When getting to know someone in the early stages of a relationship, verbal communication is a must. It is very impersonal to try to get to know someone via text message. There is no context, voice, tone, or expression. Not to mention sometimes things get misinterpreted in a text message, and then the conversation takes a wrong turn.

Lately, I have come across guys who want to communicate through texting. I also realized that I am not the only one. Friends and acquaintances are experiencing the same thing. I find it appalling. What would make them think holding a long conversation via text message is ok? At what point do you pick up the phone and call? How can you build a healthy relationship or friendship for that matter, if you never talk on the phone?

Well of course this has been discussed with friends, both male and female. The general consensus that was reached after careful debate is basically this……….. it’s unfathomable for people 30 and over to even consider dating someone via text message. If someone is interested in getting to know you, for the most part they will call. If they are texting you all the time, more than likely they are hiding something or they are simply not interested in you enough to put forth an effort. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy texting. I text daily but I have my limits. Texting is good to a certain degree. It’s ok to send random hello, thinking about you texts but conversations for the telephone are not appropriate for texting.

Texting is a secondary form of communication, thus it shouldn’t be used as the primary way to communicate when you are trying to date. Leave the text dating to the teenagers. Let’s be grown and sexy and stimulate each other’s mind with intellect, charm, bravado, and wisdom.  Like the famous words of Jill Scott, “Find a spot for us to spark,conversation, verbal elation, stimulation………Share our situations, temptations, education, relaxations…… Elevations”. So…………..Can we talk?

If you agree or disagree with Truthseeker, let me hear from you. What are your thoughts about texting and dating? Can you truly get to know someone through texting? Has technology brought us to a place where talking on the phone is becoming extinct?




Posted on November 15, 2011, in Love & Relationships and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Amen sister!!! It is impossible to get to know someone via text.


  2. Call me old-fashioned but talking on the phone is just better than texting. Although talking face to face is the best way to communicate.


  3. I think it is immature. I like to talk and there is so much that can be loss with texting. If a man my age or in my comfort zone (35 and above) wants to text then it usually turns me off. I assume, which may be wrong, that he wears his pants sagging and only listens to rap.


  4. Amen n Thank u Jesus…
    .now pass the collection plate!!!!


  5. I’m with you Jai! and Keshia you so crazy!!!!


  6. There are many ways in which two interested parties can communicate. I for one think that texting is one of them, however one has to have the ability to make one’s words come alive in order to get the sense that you are truly engaged and fully interacting with the party in which you are interested. I can do this and have successfully, but there is something much more intimate and sexy about talking with someone, hearing the tone and shifts in a man’s voice, his breathing pattern, how he approaches conversation. For me, talking will always take precedence over texting. I like the intimacy and the flow of live conversation vs the mechanical and challenging method of textersations and exceeding all of these options is the live face to face conversation, in which the truth of the person before you is clearly displayed, no celluloid screens, no time lags, no smokescreens. Oh Yes Lawd!


  7. Well said thenightafterblack!!! I totally agree with your assessment. Thank you for sharing and giving insight 🙂


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