Friends With Benefits vs Cut Buddies

What’s the difference between friends with benefits and cut buddies?  According to the Urban Dictionary…….

Friends with BenefitsA safe relationship, that mimics a real partnership but is void or greatly lacking jealousy and other such emotions that come with a serious relationship. 2. A physically involved relationship, where both partners enjoy some comforts of sitting on the fence between serious relationship and simple friendship.

Cut Buddy– A person who is not your boyfriend or girlfriend with whom you have sexual relations, on the mutual understanding that you want sex and nothing more. 2. A sex partner to whom you have no special attachment. A person you occasionally have sex with.

A friend and I recently had a discussion about friends with benefits and cut buddies. We were trying to decide if they were the same or different. This is what we came up with:

Friends with benefits do more that just have sex. They go to the movies, concerts, shows, etc. together. They talk on the phone at least once or twice a week. They have established a full-blown exclusive relationship is not what they want. They have a mutual respect for each other and on some level they care for each other. Basically they  enjoy the companionship without the commitment.

Cut Buddies are basically booty calls. They only hook up for sex. There is no hanging out whatsoever! There is no communication other than the occasional call or text for sex. Emotions are totally lacking and getting the itched scratched is the primary goal.

Basically what we came up with is very close to what the urban dictionary said. It is understandable how people would confuse the two. Now let’s talk about the pros and cons of FWB and CB.

   FWB can be quite comfortable, convenient, and fun, especially if both parties are not looking for a serious relationship. It really works for people who want companionship with no strings attached.  Being able to have dinner, go bowling, or hang out at a local night spot without  the pressure of trying to impress is a wonderful perk. The beauty of FWB is the friends aspect of it. There is a level of care and respect between the friends and sex is the icing on the cake. The thing to remember is that both parties MUST be on the same page and ultimately have the same wants and desires of a FWB.

The biggest drawback is catching feelings. When one person starts to get emotionally attached and wants more, the dynamics of the relationship change. This results in hurt feelings, heartbreak, and a ruined friendship. Another drawback is feelings of jealousy. Even though you are not committed to each other, you may develop feelings of jealousy when you see the other person with another one of his or hers friends with benefits.

There are no real benefits of a cut buddy.  The sole  purpose of a cut buddy is sex. It’s nothing more than a booty call, f*** buddy, or  sex buddy. A cut buddy usually does not want to do anything beyond the bedroom gymnastics.

The downside is the lack of emotion, communication, and friendship. On the other hand, emotions can get involved just like FWB. The more you sleep with someone the more attached you can become. It’s human nature.

Friends with benefits, cut buddies, sex buddies, booty calls, and one night stands are all forms of casual sex. Casual sex relationships have become very common for various reasons. Should you decide to get involved with a FWB or Cut Buddy relationship, be sure you clearly understand the pros and cons. Most definitely have an understanding of what the relationship is. You don’t want to be a Cut Buddy and think you are a friend with benefits. A Cut Buddy is the same as a booty call but it isn’t the same a  friend with benefits. I stumbled across the image below and just had to share.

 Before engaging in casual sex relationships, always remember to use protection. #Safe Sex

What are your thoughts about FWB vs Cut Buddies? Are they the same or different?



Posted on January 5, 2012, in Love & Relationships and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 21 Comments.

  1. This was an awesome post and the truth does hurt….after reading this I have realized that I am truly a “cut buddy” to someone that I thought I was a “fwb”…..its disheartening really because I can see us as really good friends and that’s what it truly started out to be but somewhere down the line it turned into cutting and cutting only!!!!! I’m not even that kind of girl but then again who is……love your posts…keep em coming….


  2. Thank you for commenting!! It’s funny because a lot of people would think they were fwb but really a cut buddy. I gained a little more wisdom about the subject from talking to guys and listening to how they defined casual sex relationships. This discussion just kept coming up in my circle of friends. I’m glad you enjoyed it!


  3. Sex is spiritual and also physical. The joining of 2 bodies is also the joining of 2 spirits, ergo the reason why attachments develop so quickly when sex is added to the equation. Men; seed bearers that they are; pour forth, women are vessels. We are receivers and receptacles who hold what males release and pour out. In acknowledging what is natural about our physical bodies, we should be able to discern why then women become so easily attached to the person with whom they’re having sex and just as easy to discern why a man can ejaculate and withdraw without attaching. Cutty buddy, FB, FWB or whatever B, LOL, If you can’t control your emotions and prevent yourself from becoming too emotionally invested in the person with whom you’re hooking up, best to steer clear.


  4. LOL So true!! Many women have gotten emotionally attached while trying to be in some type of casual sex relationship. It’s understandable. We are emotional creatures. The thing about fwb, fb, bc, etc. is they never last a long time. I can’t see a relationship like this lasting past a year and that’s certainly stretching it bit.


  5. Miss_Lady2Cute

    When Im single I like to have a buddy or two. I had the same cut buddy for over 4 years. After 4 years we started getting to know each other (lol) then I (a female) learned to much information about him that turned me off! And what he learned out me made HIM want more. I ended things out of fear he was trying to get me pregnant all of a sudden. Just started with a new one so far so good. We’re both in serious relationships. Only weird thing is he likes to kiss and cuddle which I think is a bit much for what we have. Never been the foreplay type either….. I have also had sex several ttimes with a friend… hasnt changed anything in the past 2 years of us having sex (known each other for 7 years). We know what it is. I was also in love with him for a looooong time. Still knew what it was and wasnt. I’ve also had cut buddies that I wanted more with…. it made me crazy lol and act out of character so they didnt last more than 2 months.


    • Thank you for reading my post! You just proved my point on both sides of the spectrum. You were able to have a fwb without catching feelings and then in another instance you had a cutty buddy and caught feelings. Casual relationships are fun but at times they are very hard to maintain. It’s great that you are very comfortable with doing you………following your own rules.


  6. After reading your post, I realized that I am a nothing more than a cut buddy. It didn’t start out that way..we were actually really good friends. Somehow, even though I have been a great friend to him, he made the decision to turn into it what it now is. I finally decided that I am tired of only being around when he wants something and no longer talk to him.


  7. i have had a fwb for 5 months now an at first it was great as we only seen each other every 6 weeks or so ,so no attachment was there, but over the last 2 months i have seen alot more of him , he stays at mine the whole weekend , came to a friends birthday party with me and talks about us going away for the weekend etc..Hes very effectionatate with me , loves to cuddle and kiss and that but then always tells me hes happy being single …I really think i love the bloke tho if im honest as although the sex is great , we have such a laugh as hes really funny and that ,….any advice on what i should do ??? i kinda know i should stop seeing him to stop myself being hurt in the longrun but im just soooo happy when hes around ..


    • If he only wants to be friends and not in a relationship then you have to accept that. You can try to continue being fwb but your feelings are in it. It’s not going to work especially if he is dating other people. If you continue to see him you may get hurt or he may just fall for you too. It’s a gamble! t I hope this helps and thanks for reading this post.


  8. Confused…I have what I believe is an fwb relationship except for the fact that the guy says we only see each other and no one else and calls me his girlfriend, he wants no emotional attachment and no future just wants to be in the moment. We have been dating (or whatever this is) for 5 months and he is also very jealous. When I approached him with my confusion his response was “do you think i should be going ga ga over you?” How do you have a non-emotional relationship with someone who wants nothing more than to have fun, dinners, hanging out holidays together and we both have children that also are part of this relationship we do stuff with them and still call it fwb? I am fine with the fwb relationship just confused on what he wants from this since I don’t get any answers. Men really are from another planet I think, lol


    • Hey Jen! That is a tough one! My question is what do you want from him specifically? It is tough to have a non-emotional relationship. He seems to want all the perks of a relationship but not the title. I guess it really is what it is…………fwb! Personally I think you guys to discuss what fwb means to each of you. You’re right men are from a different planet but we can’t live without them. LOL! I am getting a male’s perspective on this one. Stay tuned….Peter Black will have an answer for you.


  9. Oh weird, I’ve never even heard of “cut buddy”! Great post, very interesting. 🙂


  10. The last four people I’ve been with has been a friends with benefits sort of gig, well one was a one night stand. Anyway, each one has ended in a mutual manner, minus the current one. If you’re naturally a neutral person it shouldn’t be hard when they end if, and if you’re neutral, what do you care if things go on or not, something else will come along. If you’re emotional, of course this can cause speedbumps. I’m a guy, and as a combination of both but more neutral, it’s all good. Been with some interesting people, the most recent quite interesting, and I’m familiar with her profile of chick. Don’t see many dudes with posts or responses on this. So for the dudes, if you care a tad more, maybe think a bit on if you will even stick around long enough, and if you’re compatible. That’s the oddity with my current gig. We click as friends no doubt, and the sex is interesting cuz shes quite inexperienced and awkward, but I find it adorable and as an opportunity. Can’t predict how people with a dark past will react though, even if they trust you intimately. There’s a random piece, hope it helps someone. Adios.


  11. fwb cut buddies, etc. have all the same rule. Have hookup(w/e that is) and go HOME. Don’t linger, don’t date, don’t kiss, don’t do any of that. Once you do you muddy the waters, it becomes something more. Maybe people are afraid of labels, but i know for me if I sleep wit a man and no one else we’re dating no matter what HE says. Cause me, I have 0 man friends and don’t want any. we weren’t even friends before the hookups so what do ya call that? Men and women stop wit this. Either you’re lovers or you’re friends. No in-between


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  1. Pingback: Date 7 Of 30: Friends With Benefits | Dating Life

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