Your Truth About Dating Story 12-3-12

A commenter shared her story after reading my blog post Friends With Benefits vs Cut Buddies. FWBs are so relevant now. More and more, people find themselves entangled in this type of relationship. Instead of me sharing my thoughts about the situation, Peter Black has decided to give his male perspective.

Comment: Confused…I have what I believe is an fwb relationship except for the fact that the guy says we only see each other and no one else and calls me his girlfriend, he wants no emotional attachment and no future just wants to be in the moment. We have been dating (or whatever this is) for 5 months and he is also very jealous. When I approached him with my confusion his response was “do you think i should be going ga-ga over you?” How do you have a non-emotional relationship with someone who wants nothing more than to have fun, dinners, hanging out holidays together and we both have children that also are part of this relationship we do stuff with them and still call it fwb? I am fine with the fwb relationship just confused on what he wants from this since I don’t get any answers. Men really are from another planet I think, lol


Confuse: [kuh n-fyooz] to fail to distinguish between; associate by mistake; confound:

Dear Ms. Confused

Thank you on two fronts.  First, thank you for following The Truth About Dating.  Without readers, blogging is simply talking to one’s self. 🙂  Second, it takes courage to leave a comment, exposing you and your situation.  We applaud your effort and again we say thank you!

It’s been 5 months, you’re confused, somewhat emotionally attached and I can see why.  The actions or the things you two do go beyond the organic definition of friends with benefits, in particularly exclusivity.  While you and he have a fantastic modified version of friends with benefits, it’s still like leaving the milk out of the frig; it’s going to go bad.

To avoid the disastrous ending, at least for you, seek clarity in two areas, confirming the status and the direction in which things are headed.  I know.  I know.  You’ve asked before and he hasn’t responded.  However, try this approach.  Let him know your questioning is not an attempt at marriage or a long-term commitment.  Tell him you’re asking out of respect, as you don’t want to disrespect him in any way like having him see you out on a date with another person.

For now you’re satisfied. But, who knows what may come in the next 5 months, hopefully more benefits with your new friend.  🙂  However, remember, be honest with yourself and him, acknowledging when things have changed and you begin to want more.


Peter Black

Are there any other words of encouragement for confused?  Please share!



Posted on December 3, 2012, in Truth About Dating Stories and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

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