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Category Archives: Guest Posts

Because I Love Your Locks:Dating Women With Natural Hair

Today’s post features a talented blogger. I’ve shared some of his work before. I have been following his blog and I must say I am very impressed. I asked him a week ago would he consider doing a guest post for my blog and he happily accepted. I asked him to share his thoughts about dating women with natural hair. Here is what he had to say………..

Because I Love Your Locks- Dating Women With Natural Hair

Let’s be honest: hair on a woman is a beautiful thing. Regardless of race, it is always something to see. Straight, curly, or what some refer to as “nappy” is all acceptable in my world. Plus, my childish side has an inclination to play in it. Thus, I find hair to be “attractive”.

At the end of the day, I don’t care whether a woman’s hair is natural or not. However, it does excite me when there are no perms or unnecessary chemicals added. It is a lovely thing for women to accept their natural hair as their own. Also, it allows for women to be confident in their unrefined, unadulterated beauty. On top of that, many natural women know how to flaunt their styles confidently. In turn, I see as many natural women being proud of their hairstyles as women with perms and such.

Oh, one more thing: with natural women I can reference Coming to America and say my favorite “juices and berries” line.

Still, many women wonder what men think. From my experience, I will tell you this: the majority of us are going to accept you (and your hair) for what it is. That is unless it is a total mess.

In fact, there are plenty of instances where men have been excited or thrilled by the notion of a woman wearing natural hair. Many areas with enriched cultural populations have no problem with natural hair styles. So, men will go along with what is being worn. Also, there are men that have even celebrated the beauty of natural hair (see Glenford Nunez). So, there will be plenty of men excited about a natural hairstyle.

Still, there are going to be instances where men don’t like natural hair. That is totally fine. Maybe he isn’t a man you need to date. Seriously! Unless your hair is horrendous in a natural state, then you might need to reconsider a man that has an issue with your natural hair. If he wants it straightened out, you need to find out what HIS issue is. He may prefer straighter hair. He may have some “straight hair preference issues”. Either or, there are plenty of fans to cancel out those that don’t like the natural follicle expression.

At the end of the day, most men are going to go along with what the female’s hairstyle preference is (unless it doesn’t look good). If they, as black men, don’t like your hair then they you may need to leave them be. Most men shouldn’t care about hair texture anyway. Natural hair enhances the aesthetic approach of a woman’s energy and aura. It is no wonder that the natural approach to hair is gaining popularity. It doesn’t take Sampson to note the importance of strength in hair.

 

About the Author:

Born and raised in Gary, Indiana with parents of southern descent, Mark A. Harris is just a regular guy with a gift of gab. When he is not writing blogs for Chocolate Covered Lies or reviewing music, he will usually be teaching middle school children about Social Studies, finding time to see his intellectually stimulated yet quite daughter, or trying to figure out who can finance his first few fiction books he plans on writing. He currently resides in the Atlanta suburbs with his wonderful girlfriend. He can be reached on Twitter @darcwonn, Facebook Mark A. Harris, and email darcwonn@yahoo.com . Check out his blog  http://chocolatecoveredlies.com.

 Mark has once again delivered! This post is relevant and timely. Ladies, if you are wondering how men feel about natural hair, this man just answered. I know he can’t speak for all men and I know some men are just not down with it. It’s their preference. For every on man who doesn’t approve there’s five men who do. That’s my truth about dating!

Truthseeker411

Men, do you agree with his thoughts on women and natural hair? Ladies, did he put it down or what? Show a brotha some love!

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Happy Valentine’s Day from St. Peter Black

  

You’ve heard it before.Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.As catchy as it sounds, it just isn’t true. Sorry, the tagline was created to sell books. I’ll admit men and women have obvious differences but the dividing line is perspective. So, ladies, while you’re pruning those dozen roses, in the name of St.Valentine, know, depending on the guy, they carry a deeper message. Below is a list of things from the Male Perspective.

*We don’t give in to your pouting because we’re annoyed.  We acquiesce because we like the way your eyes light up when you’re excited.

*We don’t engage in sex solely for the orgasm.  We do it because it is with you.

*We don’t compromise merely for the sake of compromising.  We compromise because we understand that a better you means a better us.

*We don’t dislike crying because you’re crying.  We don’t like it because when you’re hurt we are too.

*We don’t buy you things because it demonstrates love.  We buy you things because we just want to.

*We don’t forget things that are important to you on purpose.  We lose track of things because we are trying to do everything you ask of us.

*We don’t tell you good morning for the sake of saying it.  With you, the morning is actually good.

*We don’t misunderstand what you are saying.  We get it but we seek further clarity because we want to make sure we don’t make the same mistake again.

*We don’t withdraw to the man cave because we don’t want to be with you.  We need time to reflect on our purpose, renew our strength, review our mistakes, helping us become a better man.

*We don’t avoid confrontation because we can’t communicate.  We avoid it because we’d rather spend our energy fighting for us.

valentine2

About the Author:

Peter Black aka Benghazi dons a panoramic outlook, giving him a unique hue.  He is a full-fledged libertarian, living life according to his own terms.  Rocked since birth, Peter has Rock Star DNA and is well-traveled.  Born in the South and raised by his mother, he’s a Southern Gentleman but has an affinity for the East Coast.  Peter enjoys the creative process and when he’s not blogging, he’s creating projects for his You Tube channel. Check out Peter Black’s blog www.askpeterblack.com  Follow him on Twitter @askpeterblack

Guest Post: The Secret to Hooking Up With Latin Men

The Secret to Hooking Up with Latin Men: There is no Secret

By

Miranda Santiago

I don’t know if it’s the winter blues or something in the water, but recently I’ve been getting a lot of questions from some of my girlfriends about how to hook up with “fiery Latino men”. There is something that most women love about the dark hair and tan skin—points added if he speaks with an accent. I have found that I am not as attracted to the Enrique Iglesias’s or the Antonio Banderas’s that lurk in the minds of most women, but, being a Latina, my friends think that I know the ins and outs of the Latino Man’s mind. And I do. But I’ll tell you a little secret; it has nothing to do with anybody being Latin, and everything to do with them being men.

I’ll tell you right now that nabbing that Latin hunk isn’t any harder than nabbing any other guy. Why is this? Because they are all guys! Now, I’m not saying that all guys are the same, at all. They’re not. What I’m saying is that you can’t look at a guy, see that he’s a Latino, and have a magic formula on how to hook up with him. It doesn’t work that way just because somebody is Latino, just like it doesn’t work that way just because somebody is black or white.

I’ve looked at a couple of different pieces of “advice” that I’ve found on the internet. One site says to:

  • Dress sexy
  • Smell good
  • Learn how to dance
  • Have a good sense of humor

Another site says to:

  • Hang out with more Hispanic people
  • Hang out in areas where Hispanic people hang out

There are other sites that get more into the stereotypical side of Latino dating, like how you should start acting more “fiery” and let them chase you, but I’m not going to even go into that because stereotypes are ridiculous. What I am going to point out is that the sites above are not offering any new information. There is nothing about dressing sexy, smelling good, dancing, or having a good sense of humor that is specific to Latinos. These are all things you should be doing anyway, regardless of whether or not your hook up is Hispanic. The second list, on the other hand, is simply telling women to go hang out where Latinos hang out. Why? Because that’s all a woman really needs to do!

The best piece of advice that I can give a woman looking to get with a Latino is to just be yourself. Use whatever tactics you use on any other guy. There’s no big secret on how to hook up with Latino guys, so stop reading into it so much.

Latino, Asian, whatever, the thing to remember is that a man is a man. And if you want a man there’s really only one thing you have to do: GO GET HIM!

About the Author:

Miranda Santiago is a psychology major and freelance writer.  She enjoys writing about dating topics, appealing specifically to relationships involving Latin women. Apart from writing, Miranda enjoys windsurfing, playing the piano and cheering on her favorite baseball teams. Miranda can be reached on Twitter at @MirSantiago33.

Guest Post: Friend Request

FRIEND REQUEST

By Peter Black

If you’ve been following Peter Black, you know Heavy and I are friends.  For those who haven’t, Heavy and I go back like babies with pacifiers.  R.I.P. Old Dirty Bastard!

Well, and it’s a big WELL, just like Tiger Woods, minus the 9-iron and fame of course, Heavy is in the middle of a quagmire.  His Boo contacted Wifey via Facebook.  Let me be clear.  I don’t condone Heavy’s behavior and he &^%$#@ up royally.  I actually like his Wifey.  However, had he followed a few simple rules, things might be different.

“How can you mend a broken heart?” Al Green

1.      Facebook; “The pen is mightier than the sword.”

Social Media has its benefits and draw backs.  Stay away from Facebook.  If you’re a player, cancel your account immediately.  It can’t lead to anything good, never has and never will.  When will people understand, Facebook is global.  It creates a paper trail, making you transparent and exposing your every move.

2.      Emotional Attachment

From our conversation, I could tell Heavy was attached.  The hell with Nike, don’t do it.  Never ever, I mean ever, get emotionally attached to Boo, Jump off or someone in rotation.  In the big scheme of things, emotional attachment leads to confusion, blurring the lines of the hierarchy.

3.      Treat her like Boo

Remember guys, Boo is boo and while she’s fun to be around, she can never be Wifey.  If you treat her like Wifey, she will eventually believe she’s Wifey, leading to a disaster.

4.      Protect your technology

My grandmother says honesty is the best policy.  Uh, not really!  The appearance of honesty is the best policy.  Lock your cell phone.  Turn down the volume and frequently change your password.  If need be, have multiple email accounts.

Sincerely,

Peter Black

About the Author:

Peter Black aka Benghazi dons a panoramic outlook, giving him a unique hue.  He is a full-fledged libertarian, living life according to his own terms.  Rocked since birth, Peter has Rock Star DNA and is well-traveled.  Born in the South and raised by his mother, he’s a Southern Gentleman but has an affinity for the East Coast.  Peter enjoys the creative process and when he’s not blogging, he’s creating projects for his You Tube channel.

As you can see Social Media and Cheating don’t mix! As my friend Boho Chic always say Facebook is the Unspoken Truth!

 Have you ever been busted on Facebook? What else would you do to keep Wifey and Boo separate?

Guest Post: Winter Date-Cation Tips: Love, Liquor, and Latin Men

Dancing Latin Music

Winter Date-Cation Tips: Love, Liquor, and Latin Men

By: Miranda Santiago

At the beginning of almost every new year it seems that my girlfriends become convinced they need to fly south to Latin America for the rest of the winter.
Okay, maybe not for the rest of the winter, but at least for a good week. Why wouldn’t they? It’s warm, it’s fun, and all the yummy Latin men with no shirts and six-pack abs make it pretty appealing too. That’s one of my favorite parts of them coming back—hearing about the guys that they meet, the sweet nothings they whisper, and the… well, you get where this is going. I’m sure that my girlies aren’t the only ones that are going to be involved in migratory mating rituals pretty soon, so I’ve decided to share some of their tips so that everybody can enjoy a safe, fun, and sexy date-cation.

Be Positive

I can back this one up. As a dating advice specialist I always tell people that they need to be positive—positivity attracts positivity! It should be an inherent part of your vacation that you are walking around smiling everywhere, because you’re on vacation. However, if that isn’t enough for you, remember to smile because, just like women don’t want to approach a scowling, mean-looking man, men won’t want to approach a scowling, mean-looking you.

Try New Things

When you’re on vacation, it is always a MUST to try new things. Step outside of your comfort zone and give in to the temptation of unfamiliar encounters. If that means rock-climbing a little bit, go rock climbing. If it means going to a flamenco club and dancing to faster-paced Latin music instead of hip-hop, do it! And of course, if it means trying something new in the bedroom, have an open mind. You never know… you might like what you experience!

Be SAFE!

As a continuation of the above, be safe about what you do. You definitely want to be adventurous and try new things, but unless you want to end up another international statistic that could have been prevented, take caution. Watch how much you drink, and ALWAYS KNOW WHERE YOUR DRINK IS COMING FROM. Don’t accept drinks from anybody you don’t know, even if he is the hottest Latin hunk you’ve ever seen. I had a girlfriend get drugged in South America and so much could have gone wrong if we weren’t there to help her. It’s always a good idea to bring a couple lady friends with you on these trips, if not for safety, then at least for advice.

Use Protection

At some point, after gazing at all of these hot, sweaty Latin men for awhile, it’s only natural that you’re probably going to want to take one back to your room with you (or skip the room entirely and get down to business in some exotic location!). If you are planning on hooking up while on your date-cation, it is non-negotiable that you bring protection or have quick access to it. This is not only to protect against unwanted pregnancies, but also against unwanted disease. It’s always good to bring home souvenirs, unless those souvenirs are unwanted sexually transmitted infections.

Be Realistic

Last but not least, recognize what it is for what it is. You are on vacation. You are not there to pick up Latin men and bring them home. You’re not there to blow all your money or be anybody’s sugar-mama. You’re not there to become somebody’s ride back to the United States. Don’t get attached to anybody that you might share a meaningful connection with, and always be realistic. You might not be able to take your Latin lover home with you, but you will always have the memory of a good time to call back on.

About the Author:

Miranda Santiago is a psychology major and freelance writer.  She enjoys writing about dating topics, appealing specifically to relationships involving Latin women. Apart from writing, Miranda enjoys windsurfing, playing the piano and cheering on her favorite baseball teams. Miranda can be reached on Twitter at @MirSantiago33.

Show Miranda love and leave feedback about this post. Do you have any other tips to add?

Truthseeker411

Hierarchy Part 2

I’m sure most of you enjoyed Peter Black’s post Hierarchy. As I stated before, women have a hierarchy of men too. This post is my rebuttal to Peter Black’s post. Men think they have all the fun. Little do they know, we invented the shit. 🙂

1.      Hubby

Just as the Wifey, the Hubby atop all others. The Hubby is “THE MAN”. He puts it down like no other.  He takes care of home in many ways. He happily steps up and provides for the home.  He’s your knight in shining armor and will defend your honor any day.  He’s the one that totally gets and accepts you, flaws and all.  He has the good/bad boy appeal.  He’s the total package. Basically,  he’s all that and a sack of potatoes.

2.      Boo Thang

Boo Thang is the guy that wants to be Hubby. He could have possibly been Hubby but he’s lacking a certain je ne sais quoiFor that he will always be second best. He’s always trying above and beyond to prove he can be the Hubby.  His ego gets in the way, hence there’s always a pissing contest where Hubby is concerned.  Boo Thang get the “treatment” when Hubby isn’t being Prince Charming. The thing to remember is to dangle enough bait to keep Boo Thang around but not mess up what you have with the Hubby. Let’s face it Boo Thang has the potential to destroy your happy home.

3.     Hook Up

The Hook Up is similar to Peter’s Jump Off.  They both understand the intricacies of  the hierarchy. Minimal contact is needed for the Hook Up and is willing to kick it from time to time. The Hook Up knows about Hubby but he’s not trying to move up the ladder. This is where he and the  Jump Off differ. The Hook Up already has a Wifey,  he’s not trying to replace her. He just needs an escape every once in a while. You and the Hook Up are on the same page, which equals less drama.

4.      Stand By

The Stand By is the guy that is waiting for just a little of your time. He’s like a spare tire for the Hook Up,  the Boo Thang, or the Hubby. He is clueless about the hierarchy. He’s just trying to get in where he fits in. The Stand By is usually the guy that wanted to date you once upon time but didn’t. He essentially feels the both of you have unfinished business. He doesn’t realize he will never move pass Stand By.

Ladies have you ever ranked your men? Men, where you fall on the hierarchy?

Truthseeker411

Guest Post: Hierarchy

“I’m not only a client, I’m the Player President”-Notorious BIG

I know it’s been a while but let’s have another moment of silence for Tiger Woods.  No, he isn’t dead, but Tiger didn’t understand the Hierarchy.  Had he called Peter Black, he’d probably have more major championships.  🙂

1.      Wifey

The Wifey is atop all others.  Over the years Wifey earned stripes by putting in work.  She’s ride or die, Bonnie to any Clyde.  Wifey crosses all “T’s” and dots all “I’s”.  She takes care of you and runs the ship in your absence.  Wifey is platinum and should never be traded in for Gold or Silver.  Because of her status, there’s an emotional attachment and above all else, Wifey comes first.

2.      Boo

Boo is second and will always be no matter what she does.  Boo knows about Wifey and aspires to be her.  You spend time with Boo when Wifey is being a %$#@!.  I never said Wifey was perfect.  LOL  Boo gets a daily text and phone call, quality time when Wifey goes out-of-town or when there’s a temporary split with Wifey.  Boo has good qualities just not enough to be Wifey.  Warning, proceed with caution.  Because Boo wants to be Wifey,  she may one day attempt a coup, destroying everything in her path.

3.      Jump Off

The Jump Off is a great role player and understands the intricacies of the hierarchy.  Minimal contact is needed with the Jump Off as she comes off the bench when the game is out of control.  When Wifey is being a &^%$# and Boo is acting an ass, because she’s not Wifey, you call the Jump Off.  The Jump Off knows about the Wifey but not about Boo.  Accordingly, the Jump Off thinks she’s the Boo.  The Jump Off is willing to do anything, anytime, anywhere, not quite friends with benefits but a little more than cut buddies.

4.      In Rotation

If you’re not the Wifey, Boo, or Jump Off, you’re in rotation.  Outside of the occasional quickie you’re nonexistent.  The rotation is normally comprised of ex-Wifeys, ex-Boos and ex-Jump Offs.

Sincerely,

Peter Black

Ladies, clearly Peter Black felt the need to be humorous in this post.  However, we have a hierarchy of men too! Check out my rebuttal to Peter’s post http://wp.me/p1FYfJ-hu  In the meantime, let’s indulge Peter Black………..Where do you fall?

About the Author:

Peter Black aka Benghazi dons a panoramic outlook, giving him a unique hue.  He is a full-fledged libertarian, living life according to his own terms.  Rocked since birth, Peter has Rock Star DNA and is well-traveled.  Born in the South and raised by his mother, he’s a Southern Gentleman but has an affinity for the East Coast.  Peter enjoys the creative process and when he’s not blogging, he’s creating projects for his You Tube channel.

Truthseeker411

Guest Post: Sexually Speaking

“Up and down like a roller coaster, in and out just like a robbery.”   2 Pac

“Good Lawd! Who’s that?”  Heavy rushed the television, bumping the coffee table.  Kevin and I caught the toppling beer bottles. “Move… You’re blockin’ the TV!”  Heavy, birth name Michael Claire, stood, six feet tall, weighing 267 pounds.  Kevin snatched the remote, increasing the volume.  The model in the Victoria’s Secret commercial sashayed across the runway.

“I wouldn’t kick her out the bed unless we were gonna to do it on the floor.”  Heavy shouted.  Kevin laughed.  Heavy was over worked and married.  Anything sexual set him overboard.

I leaned back into the couch, getting comfortable.  It was halftime of the Sunday Night Football game. Kevin pressed the rewind button on the remote.  I don’t have a DVR but I like its versatility.  Kevin paused it.

“What are you doing?  Go back to the game.”  I waved my hand at the TV.

“Tell me you wouldn’t.  C’mon Pete, tell me you wouldn’t.”  Kevin gaffed.

“I’d do her in the car, restaurant bathroom, each bedroom, work… you name it, I’d do it.  You know I’m freaky.”  Kevin licked his lips.

“Those are optional places K, which has nothing to do with freakiness.”

“You know what I mean Pete.”

Yep, I knew what he meant.  In the big scheme of things location is just as important.  I thought about the date I had the night before, a playful water fight, turning into something more.  We were both wet.  She sat atop the counter next to the sink, the hot water splashing on my arm, her hand on my neck, the other around my waist, my pants down to my ankles.

WAIT!  I promise, another day, another blog!

As I suggested, location is important but the act of freakiness is something else.  The conversation continued during the game, Heavy yelling loudly and Kevin snickering at every opportunity.  While we discussed many things, we eventually captured 4 freaky acts men like or do.

Toes!

Man up!  Be adventurous!  For some it’s icky; for others, it’s heaven.  Don’t knock it until you try it.  You may be surprised.

Threesome!

Two is company and three is a crowd.  Not in this scenario.  However, threesomes are not like regular sex — they require both imagination and sensitivity.  If you plan on having a threesome, you need to go into the situation with some idea of what you’re going to do and you need some threesome rules.

Back Door Push!

Use your imagination people.  You know what it is, stimulation of the back door area during sexual activity.  It can be done in several different ways: manually, orally or by intercourse.

He/She Did What!

Please remember, oral sex has been around for many, many years.  Men and women love all oral sex.  If you’re down there, they’re in heaven, period.  However, what you do down there is graded.  So, do your homework.

Sincerely,

Peter Black

About the Author:

Peter Black aka Benghazi dons a panoramic outlook, giving him a unique hue.  He is a full-fledged libertarian, living life according to his own terms.  Rocked since birth, Peter has Rock Star DNA and is well-traveled.  Born in the South and raised by his mother, he’s a Southern Gentleman but has an affinity for the East Coast.  Peter enjoys the creative process and when he’s not blogging, he’s creating projects for his You Tube channel.

Guest Post: 5 Sexy Things

The rays of the morning sun shot through the window, landing on my face, tickling my cheek.  I tussled with the blankets, rolled left and rolled right.  I reached out, pulling the sheets.  She wasn’t there.  I was alone and bit tetchy, my better half leaving for work an hour earlier.

Feeling somewhat defeated, which doesn’t happen often, I sat up, placing my feet on the floor.  My memory was foggy at best.  I replayed the early morning events, her pressing snooze, whispering good-bye and dashing out the door.  She was undoubtedly late, which meant no “Hot Java” and I’m not talking coffee. 🙂 Read Truthseeker’s “The Best Part of Waking Uphttp://wp.me/p1FYfJ-es

The house carried a slight chill due to the overnight cold front.  Dressed in sweats I plodded down the hall, adjusting the thermostat on the way to the bathroom.  A long hot shower changed my mood and I eventually found the office.

At my computer, I sat, honey bun in the left hand, pecking at the keys with my right, typing with no direction.  Five minutes in and I had writer’s block, or boredom, I wasn’t sure.  I opened another honey bun, discarding the cellophane wrapper in the trash.  Next to me was a woman’s magazine.  I’d mention the actual name but they’re not paying me, at least not yet.  🙂

Page 48 was earmarked, titled, “10 things that will drive your man crazy.”  I paused before reading, wondering if my boo finished the article.  In case you don’t know Peter Black likes new things.

I finished the first paragraph, went to the next, finally reaching the end, signed Sissy K.  Really, I thought.  Sissy writes well, it held my attention, however, Sissy’s a woman and unless she…Forget that thought! 🙂

After talking to a few guys, about 20 or so, I complied a list of 5 small but helpful tips.  It may not drive him crazy but it will keep things interesting.

1. Wear His Clothes

Wearing his clothes is an absolute turn on.  However, use discretion, his jeans and tuxedo may be a bit much.  Look at the bright side.  If you wearing something he had on earlier, you can smell him without him being around.

2. Open Door policy

I understand the bathroom is a place of sanctity, but when possible leave the bathroom door slightly open.  Men are very visual and the small crack gives him an invitation to peek.

3. Avoid The Potato Sack

So what, you’ve gained a few pounds.  When you’re not wearing his clothes, wear something fitted, showing your figure.  Don’t go to far, however.  Some outfits belong on the stroll.

4. Be engaged

This is a must.  Forget the cell, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.  He’s your priority for the moment.  Listen, rub his hands, make eye contact and be intrigued.

5. Feed him

Cooking is great, in fact highly encouraged.  But, I mean feed him.  It doesn’t matter what it is, just do it.  Use your fingers to grip a grape or strawberry.  You’ll be amazed by the results.

Sincerely,

Peter Black aka Benghazi

About the Author:

Peter Black aka Benghazi dons a panoramic outlook, giving him a unique hue.  He is a full-fledged libertarian, living life according to his own terms.  Rocked since birth, Peter has Rock Star DNA and is well-traveled.  Born in the South and raised by his mother, he’s a Southern Gentleman but has an affinity for the East Coast.  Peter enjoys the creative process and when he’s not blogging, he’s creating projects for his You Tube channel.

There are many things that men find sexy about women. What are your thoughts about this list? What do you think should be added? Men, share your thoughts.  Ladies, do you do these things for your boo, significant other, or hubby? Do tell!

Truthseeker411

Guest Post: “The Way”

“Is it the way you love me?”- Jill Scott

            Sitting quietly, I’ve found, is hard for most.  We get into our cars, automatically adjusting the radio dial, the volume so high it drowns our thoughts.  My mother lives in a four-bedroom house, each with a television blaring toxic propaganda.  If you stand in the hallway, eyes closed, it sounds like the bustle of Time Square.

That being said, I do my best thinking in silence, solving problems, epiphanies seemingly falling from the sky.  I’m stirring the contents of my Lean Cuisine, wishing I could tell you my state of contemplation is voluntary.  But it’s not.  I’m in the #$#@*&^ doghouse again!  L

Earlier, Jasmine asked me to hang artwork her mother gave her as a birthday gift.  While we don’t live together, it sure feels like it.  She has a picture of me beside her bed; I have a spare key, a drawer in the bathroom, hangers, manly soap and a blue toothbrush.  In retrospect, I think those things are more for her than for me.  LOL!

Jasmine gets home about three and it was ten after when I heard the door open.  I was at the computer, doing what most people do, updating my Facebook account.  “Peter!”  I heard.  Jasmine’s screech struck a nerve.  I waited a minute before responding.  In fact, it was a full minute before I moved.

I timidly walked down the hall.  Jasmine met me in the bedroom, the artwork still on the floor where I left it.  From my viewpoint, hanging shirts is a bit much, so, you know I wasn’t motivated.  The workout, which is inhumanely strenuous, balancing, arms stretching wide, overextending your core, measuring this and holding that, seems to outweigh the pleasure of having the piece hung.

“What,” I asked, shoulders shrugged upward.

“Damn it Peter!  You said you were going to hang the pictures!”

I stared blankly.  It was my day off and you know how it goes.  A little Maury, a little Jerry, a little Judge Brown and before you know it, it’s three o’clock.

“What’s with you?”  Jasmine asked, grinding her teeth.  “I don’t ask for much.  Do I?”  It was true, Jasmine didn’t ask for much.  She didn’t associate love with gifts, for which I’m most thankful.  Honestly, I couldn’t be with someone like that.

The silence made me a bit nervous.  It’s funny but I prefer the wild tongue-lashing.  Somewhere in the middle of the rage, Jasmine tells me why she’s angry, which leads to a frantic apology I’m not proud of.

“You just don’t get it, do you Peter?”

“But…” I started.

She cut me off.  “You don’t love me.”  Jasmine screamed.  “You did the same thing last week.”  She grabbed her purse and within seconds Jasmine was gone, the door slamming behind her.

How could that be, I thought?  Me, not love Jasmine?  I paid the cell phone bill, cut the grass and cleaned the garage without asking.  I replayed last week, sighing regretfully.  I missed her presentation she gave at a small luncheon.  That couldn’t be it.  She said me not being there was okay.

All the lights were off and as the sun set the house darkened.  No Jasmine and she hadn’t called.  I went to the freezer, removing the meatloaf and mashed potatoes Lean Cuisine.  I wasn’t hungry but managed a few bites. 

The microwave was ineffective as usual, cold in the middle and smoldering lava on the edges.  I stirred until the contents gelled.  As I chewed, what tasted like saw dust, I contemplated.  The microwave heated the food but not to my content.  The Lean Cuisine, as far as calories went, was what I wanted but it tasted horribly.

I don’t suggest being in the doghouse but sometimes it helps.  J  Jasmine had every right to be upset.  I, like the microwave and Lean Cuisine, fell short.  The things I didn’t do were important to her, demonstrating, at least to Jasmine, I didn’t love her.  However, I love her, just not THE WAY she wants.  Being loved is important and something we all desire.  Make sure you love him/her the way they want to be loved.

Sincerely,

Peter Black

Are you being loved the way you want to be loved? Are you loving your significant other the way they want to be loved?

About the author:

Peter Black aka Benghazi don’s a panoramic outlook, giving him a unique hue.  He is a full-fledged libertarian, living life according to his own terms.  Rocked since birth, Peter has Rock Star DNA and is well-traveled.  Born in the South and raised by his mother, he’s a Southern Gentleman but has an affinity for the East Coast.  Peter enjoys the creative process and when he’s not blogging, he’s creating projects for his You Tube channel.

Truthseeker411

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