Category Archives: Love & Relationships

For the Fellas

Today I want to celebrate MEN! I know we have a world full of cheating, lying, scheming ass men but there are still a few good men left. Today is the day for the man who is taking care of his business by being faithful, loyal, trustworthy, a provider, a friend, a lover, a supporter………basically an all around good guy. Thank you for being YOU! To all the men who was once before a lowdown dirty dog and decided to turn over a new leaf, Thank you!  I know sometimes you feel out numbered and that you have to pay for the sins of another man. Keep doing what you are doing! It’s your day, embrace it. Women may talk about how men are jerks but the bottom line………We still need and want you…….not to mention we love you!

Let me tell you what women love about you:

  1. your drive and ambition
  2. your confidence
  3. your honesty
  4. your sense of humor
  5. your appearance
  6. how you defend her honor
  7. how you handle business
  8. how you take care of your responsibility

Fellas, you are very strong and sexy! God created you just for us. How could we not love that?

To all the women, tell your husband, your boyfriend, your lover, your friend that today his day and he is Awesome!!

Ladies, what are some things you love about men?  Share an awesome experience you had with a man whether it’s your husband, father, brother, friend, etc.

Fellas feel free to give feedback. We want to hear from you.

Have a Happy & Wonderful Father’s Day!!

Dr. Truthseeker


The Best Part of Waking Up

There is nothing like a big, hot cup of  Java also known as morning nookie. It’s powerful enough to get even the grumpiest person going.  I would know, since I’m that person.  Everybody knows that I don’t do mornings. My motto is “I’m all yours after 10”. The one thing that can make me smile, dance in the rain, or spread a little cheer in the morning is hot Java and I am not talking about Folgers.

Just picture this. You and hot Java cuddled up and the break of dawn starts peeking through the windows. He stirs, you stir. The next thing you know he’s stroking your hair, kissing your neck, or nibbling your ear. You’re smiling because you know what’s about to go down. Temptation must not be resisted even if you may have to rush and get ready for work. Enjoy the horizontal boogie.  Indulging in that hot cup of Joe is a must to get your day started. Most people say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well that’s true to a certain degree. Breakfast after morning nookie is the most important meal of the day.

Now some will disagree with me and say nookie is better at night. They would say that you are well rested after a night of nook-nook. I agree with that whole-heartedly but morning nookie is good for your health. According to Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., author of Because It Feels Good, having sex in the morning releases the feel-good chemical oxytocin, which makes couples feel loving and bonded all day long. It makes you stronger and more beautiful too!  Morning sex can strengthen your immune system for the day by enhancing your levels of IgA, an antibody that protects against infection.  Also climaxing releases chemicals that boost levels of estrogen, which improves the tone and texture of your skin and hair.

If you are tired of the day-to-day routine and need a little pick me up. Try having a nice cup of morning Joe.  You can have it dark or with sugar and cream. Either way it will benefit you and him. Take advantage of the natural wake up call that the cup of Joe exhibits. Men are wired to want nookie in the mornings.  Indulge in a morning quickie. Being spontaneous will intensify the experience.  After all the best part of waking up is a hot cup of Java!

What time of day do you like to have your hot Java?


Happy Weight

Ok Ladies……….Have you ever been hanging around the house with your new sweetheart, and couldn’t wait to unbuttoned your jeans? Not because you wanted to get busy, but because the jeans were feeling snug.

Most of us have fallen victim to the dreaded weight gain when happiness strikes. I know I have.  Is it because we stop caring for ourselves? I don’t think so.

Picture this….. You and sweetheart are going to restaurant after restaurant; having dinner and cocktails. You have movie nights with pizza and hot wings. Then you find yourself cuddling more on the couch instead of going to the gym. Oh and not to mention enjoying those sweet treats Shari’s Berries your sweetheart is sending all the time. Then suddenly, you look up and your ass is  fat 10, 15, or 25 pounds heavier.

The thing that is most irritating is that the man usually doesn’t gain weight. Therefore, you find yourself with extra baggage and he is slim and trim. What’s even worse is when you and your sweetheart break up and you have all that weight gain…………….so not fair (LOL!) Here is what you do when you are in an exciting new relationship:

  1. When eating out, eat half of your food and take the rest to go.  Don’t try to keep up with your sweetheart. If you get dessert, make him split it with you.
  2. Limit the cocktails. If your man is guzzling all the wine, that doesn’t mean you have to compete.
  3. Instead of snuggling on the couch several nights of week, go for a walk together.
  4. Convince your sweetheart to join the gym or workout with you. You could even take dance lessons together.

The excitement of a new relationship is alway fun. You enjoy being with that special someone and doing all the wonderful things that couples do. Our hips and tummy pay the price but remember they don’t have too. Enjoy your man and still be sexy. I know…I know..It’s easier said than done.

Have you ever experienced weight gain in a relationship? Fellas, can you relate?


All I Want For Christmas……


It’s something about the holidays and cooler temperatures that make men and women want to get a cuddle boo. Perhaps it’s the romantic fires, thoughts of holiday nookie, snuggle-friendly weather, holiday parties, watching others with their boo, or just the pure thought of being lonely. They start searching high and low and when that doesn’t work out, they pull out the cell phone and scroll through the ex-files. The crew over at Bougieland refer to this as the “TapBack”. This is when an old flame reaches out because they want you back, they want to tap for old times sake, or they want to mess with your head.

I’m sure most of you have been hit with the “TapBack” call at least once or twice. I’d venture to say that you have been the initiator of the “TapBack”. 😉

My “TapBack” Story

The other day I posted pictures from the Thanksgiving holiday on Facebook. An old flame saw them and clicked like and left a comment. A day later I got a phone call from Mr. Handsome from the ex-files. We exchanged pleasantries and the conversation took a turn. He said seeing the pictures on Facebook brought back memories of our time together and it got him to thinking about how we should start seeing each other again. He went on to say that I was looking good and he would love to go somewhere for drinks and catch up. He said he’d been thinking about me for a while and he doesn’t understand why we parted ways. Hmmm Interesting

As I recalled we parted ways because we were not on the same page… among other things. It’s funny he now has amnesia. Anyway, back to the story……He continued to lay it on thick. He said I was very good to him and we should pick up where we left off. Then he had the audacity to say it’s cold and he should be keeping me warm at night. I continued to listen to his spill, laugh to myself, and shake my head. Here’s the icing on the cake:

Him: We shouldn’t be alone during the holidays.

Me: What makes you think I am alone?

Him: Are you dating someone?

Me: As a matter of fact, I am!

Him: You guys can’t be serious! I know I still have a chance with you!

Me: How do you know this?

Him: Because we are very good for each other.

Me: Wow!

Him: You are the one thing that would make my holidays complete. All I want for Christmas….is you.

I politely told Mr. Handsome we will not be tapping back. I am no one’s fall back girl. I also told him that what we shared was lovely but that’s in the past.  Loneliness is not a reason to reconnect with someone; especially if it’s temporary. Lastly, I told him to have a Merry Christmas.

I gotta give it to a brother. He really tried to be convincing but I wasn’t buying. Now don’t get me wrong, the “TapBack” isn’t a bad thing. It’s great when both parties are down with tapping back and intentions are clearly stated.  Nonetheless; as with any thing, you have to be careful.

Do you have any “TapBack” stories? Have you ever been the “TapBacker” or the “TapBackee”? Are you looking for a cuddle boo for Christmas?

Click the link and enjoy!


7 Types of FWBs…..Say What?!



I was catching up on my Marie Claire magazines when I came across an article in the March 2013 issue. The article is “The Seven Types of FWBs”. It basically outlines the different types of friend with benefits relationships that exist. Now I’m a bit perplexed because this causal relationship has evolved into many things.

This list originated from a study conducted by Arizona State University and Northern Illinois University. It was published in the Journal of Sex Research. Check it out list!

1. True Friends (what we call TF)

Academic Definition: An important friend considered a safe sexual partner.
Translation: You actually want to hang out with him with your clothes on.

My translation: This is the original friends with benefits!

2. Just Sex (JS)

Academic Definition: Other than sexual encounters, little interaction occurs.
Translation: You only talk to him after 11 p.m.

My translation: Everyone knows this is a booty call! #cuttybuddy

3. Network Opportunism (NO)

Academic Definition: Friends whose shared network allows them to interact, typically while consuming alcohol.
Translation: He’s your end-of-the-party default option.

My translation: One Night Stand!

4. Successful Transition (ST)

Academic Definition: Intentionally and effectively using an FWB to initiate a romantic relationship.
Translation: Through your wit and charm, you’ve turned it into a real thing.

My translation: Don’t hate the player; just hate the game!

5. Unintentional Transition (UT)

Academic Definition: An FWB leads to a romantic relationship, although it was not the original intent.
Translation: Whoops! He’s your accidental boyfriend.

My translation: A Situationship gone Right!

6. Failed Transition (FT)

Academic Definition: One or both partners attempted, unsuccessfully, to generate a romantic transition.
Translation: You’re heartbroken (or he is)… And now you’re having heartbreak sex.

My translation: #EPIC Fail! or A Situationship gone Wrong!

7. Transition Out (TO)

Academic Definition: Sexual interactions between partners from a terminated romantic relationship.
Translation: Your halfhearted breakup sex lasts for months.

My translation: Too damn complicated! Stop while you’re ahead!

Read more: Friends with Benefits Types – What Your Friend with Benefits Really Means – Marie Claire

I guess causal relationships have become a little more complex. It seems like it would be little less complicated to be in an exclusive relationship. Then again causal relationships originated because people want no strings attached relationships. Whatever the case may be……Know your relationship status!


What’s you current relationship status? Which FWB are you? Is there another type of FWB that should be added?


10 Signs He’s Into You


The beginning stages of dating or developing a relationship can be tough at times. When you meet a guy that you like, you try to figure out of he’s into. Men can be hard to read at times. One thing’s for certain is that it isn’t hard to figure out if he’s NOT into you. After talking to various guys, reading articles, and life experiences, I have compiled a list of signs that will be helpful in deciphering whether he’s into.

1. He calls you on a regular or when he says he will call.

Guys generally don’t enjoy talking on the phone. If he calls you often chances are he enjoys talking to you.

2. He’s attentive and thoughtful.

When he likes you, he will make an effort to show you. He will plan fun things for you to do together. He will pull out all the stops to impress you.  If he sends a quick sweet text when he’s working or super busy that’s a sign that he’s thinking of you.

3. He looks at you a lot.

You know when you catch him looking at you and he quickly looks away. Sometimes he will gaze at you for a long period of time. We are sometimes guilty of this as women also. You’ve seen it before.

4. He listens to you.

When a guy is interested in what you have to say and genuinely seeks your opinion, he’s into you. He will make you part of the conversation and he will definitely not make it all about him.

5. He wants you to meet other people his life.

When a guy is into you, he will talk about you to his friends and he will want you to meet them . He will want you to be a part of his inner circle.  He may invite you to work functions. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t meet the parents right away. That will eventually come. There’s no timetable for that. Each guy is different in that retrospect.


6. He remembers the corny and quirky things you say or do.

If he smiles or chuckle at your silly shenanigans, he thinks you’re funny and cute.

7. He wants to spend every moment with you.

When a guy likes you, he will want to spend time with you. He will make the effort to take you on a date and do things that you like to do. He will definitely court you and not treat you as a booty call.

8. He shares or shows you things that he hasn’t shared with anyone else.

Men usually don’t open up about things like women. If he shares or expresses things consider that a plus.

9. He touches you.

When I say this I don’t mean sexually. When you are together and he touches your hand, arm, leg, or knee is a good sign he likes you.

10. He will watch a chick flick or a lifetime movie with you.

If it doesn’t bother him or he doesn’t complain about watching the latest chick flick, that’s a definitely a sign he wants to be near you. Let’s face it! He could be watching a game or boxing.


This list can go on and on. However, these are just a few signs to look for when trying to figure out if a man is into you.

What other signs should be added to the list?


Spring Fling and Summer Lovin

I was just thinking it’s Back to School Time. The summer is about to end and football season will begin soon. This made me think about the fun times of spring and summer. The time when the ladies show off those freshly shaved legs and cute pedicures. Shorts, sundresses, rompers are the trend of the season. Not to mention, rockin the cute shades and sexy swimsuits. It’s enough to send the men into a feeding frenzy! Oh and the men are showing off those rock hard abs and beautiful arms. Their hair is always freshly cut and some love to rock those fedoras. The confidence and the swag they have is overwhelmingly sexy. Let the battle of the sexes begin! Everyone is on the prowl for a………


So ladies if your man started acting up after Valentine’s Day, blame it on the warm temperatures and blooming flowers. He probably didn’t want to be tied down in a relationship. Why bring sand to the beach? And fellas if your woman has lost a few extra pounds and asked for space, more than likely she wanted to add a few numbers to her little black book. It’s something about that spring fever and summer madness that makes everyone crazy. Well if you are still with your man or woman then hopefully you added a little sizzle to relationship because it is definitely hot out there. I do mean literally and figuratively 🙂

Let’s talk about Spring Fling! What is a Spring Fling anyway? Well according to the urban dictionary it is a casual relationship between two persons who are attracted to one another. This can involve puppy love, sex, or perhaps just “hooking up”. It can also refer to a fling that takes place during the named season. (Btw………..Spring is when most animals mate!) With that being said, if you meet a guy or girl during a Spring Festival, Spring Break or, Spring Getaway it may not be your soul mate.It just may be someone to kick it with during the three most beautiful months of the year. If it does evolve into a wonderful romance……….then you are one of the lucky ones. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with having a Spring Fling. Sometimes this happens after a long romance that went sour or when you have been totally stressed with school, work, or both. There are quite a few ladies that aren’t comfortable with the idea of a Spring Fling for various reasons. I say go ahead girl and do your thing………………. You only live once! Besides men have done this shit for years. You may have been a Spring Fling and didn’t know it. For example, have you ever started a romance and it was going well and you guys were having fun and then within 3-6 months it’s over. I hate to break it to you but you were a Spring Fling.

Now what about Summer Lovin? It’s a sexual adventure free of hassles, commitments or drama, timed for the summer only. It’s not just limited to sex. Summer Lovin is something light and fun-filled with nothing to worry about at the end of the season. It’s usually not exclusive to one person and ends in a mutual agreement of friendship. This takes me back to Sandy and Danny in the movie Grease. Oh don’t act like you don’t remember the movie! They had a summer fling that evolved into a complicated relationship by the fall and winter, partly because of the infamous “representative” Danny put on during the summer. Now granted they did get it worked out and they fell in love and drove off into the sunset. It doesn’t happen that way all the time but you can still enjoy Summer Lovin and not be attached or exclusive. Ladies, I know that we want our flings and lovin to end this way but let’s stop kidding ourselves. Life isn’t a fairy tale and we are not Cinderella. Can we have a happy ending? Hell Yes!! But we can also live in the moment, have fun, and just maybe create our own happy ending. Think about it like this…….you are looking good and it’s summer time. You have three carefree months of not being stuck in a serious relationship but all the perks of one with just a little Spring Fling and Summer Lovin!

So go ahead girlfriend and just Enjoy Yourself like Michael Jackson says. Live your life off the wall. You’ll be happy you did and you will definitely have great memories. If the men can do it, so can we!

Have you ever had a spring fling or summer romance? How did it end? Did you enjoy it? Would you do it again?


Stay tuned for the  Fall Kiss and Winter Cuddle follow-up!

It’s Complicated….Time to Re-Examine the Relationship

There comes a time when you must step back and re-examine the situation you are in. We tend to stay in a relationship simply because of the years that have been invested in it or we tend to hold on to the thought of a certain relationship because of the years that were invested. Hoping for the possibility of a reunion. We become complacent because it is familiar or it doesn’t require growth or change. We don’t want to open ourselves to the possibility of something new.

For the one that says oh we’ve been together for years. Our families are involved. The question for you is at what point do you stop and think about what’s keeping you from progressing to the next level. Is it distance, time, fear,or complacency? Is it work, school, or money? All those things can be changed but you must be willing. You say I’m in love with him/her. He’s my rock. She’s a good woman. I don’t know what the future holds for us. What’s the problem? There’s a need to re-examine the relationship.  You’re not getting any younger. That’s real talk!

For the one that’s holding on to the possibility of reconnecting with that one great love. The question is what is keeping you apart from each other. Why aren’t you making it  happen? Why are you holding on to the idea and not making it a reality? Is it fear, stubbornness, procrastination?  You say he/she will always be my one true love. What the problem? Again I say there’s a need to re-examine the relationship. Time does not wait for any one.

Perhaps during the re-examination you will find that the only thing you are holding on to are all of those years. That really and truly, the love has faded and there is no turning back. Maybe you have outgrown each other. There could very well be someone new staring you in the face but you’re too blinded by the old love. Then again maybe you will discover that you can’t be without that person and do something to reclaim the lost love or rekindle the flame. You will never know until you take time to re-examine the relationship. Communication is the key.  It would be such a pity to let love slip right through your fingers. It would also be such a shame to let a wonderful opportunity pass you by.

That’s my truth about dating!


Have you ever been afraid to end a relationship because of the number of years you’ve been together? Have you ever become complacent in a relationship?

How Do You Know When You’re Being Loved?

How do you know when you are being loved?

This question came up in a Facebook discussion. There were several different answers to this question but the one constant answer was that love is an action not a feeling. We hear all the time that Love is an action, not a feeling.  We often associate love with how we feel but sometimes that feeling resembles love, which can make things complicated. By the same token love starts with a feeling and evolves into something much more requiring action. Love doesn’t sustain itself. There must be active participation to keep love alive. Love is not based on a condition or contingency; meaning it’s restricted or limited.  To answer the question………..How do you know when you are being loved?

You never really know how much someone loves you. It isn’t a thing that just happens like in a fairy tale. There must be a common bond or a special place in your heart and mind where you can go. Sometimes by yourself, and other times with each other. Loving someone is unconditional, meaning there is no condition that the person you love loves you back. However, to know if someone loves you all you need to do is look at the actions of the person. Words are never enough, unless they are backed by actions that match what is being said. This doesn’t mean material gifts and money. Sometimes, people confuse receiving or giving gifts and money as acts of love. Their actions should include sacrifice, respect, and compromise. If someone claims they love you then hurt you with their actions then most definitely that is not considered love. On the flip side, people in love will sometimes hurt each other with spiteful words and actions during arguments or disagreements. That doesn’t necessarily mean there is no love, but as humans we tend to be emotional and our reaction to certain things come from that emotion. It’s the hope that the other will understand and forgive after all is said and done.

Real and true love is a continual process over time; it is not the “warm and fuzzy feelings” or the “intense physical chemistry/attraction”. That is simply lust, which is often confused for love. (Umm that may be another blog post) One thing is for certain………Love is something you are sure about; it is not uncertain.

Surely there is more to add, so truthseeker fans what are your thoughts? How do you know when you are being loved?


15 Years and Still Getting It

Who ever said sex stops after marriage should reconsider that statement or perhaps have a word with my friend Sasha. She has been married for 15 years and is still enjoying nights full of pleasure with her husband.

So I asked her did she really think  women stop having sex after marriage? Is it a myth or the truth?

Sasha can’t imagine not having sex with her husband. She said maybe for some women the myth is true but she can’t understand why. I told her a lot of women say because of their jobs, children, and maintaining a household it’s hard to make time for sex. They are too exhausted.Her reply, “I have all of those things, been married for 15 years, and my sex life is still thriving.”  She said she looks forward to making love, having hot steamy sex, and totally being a super freak with her husband. Sex for her is a stress reliever. Once she gets a little nookie, she can conquer the world.

Another thing she said was  you have to keep it fresh. Don’t be afraid to try new things and be creative. She enjoys putting on a show for her husband and more importantly her husband enjoys the performance. She has a nice collection of lingerie, wigs, costumes, and stilettos.

She also said she takes full advantage when the children are not home. She moves her sexual escapades to various parts of the house. She said getting some good ass fantastic loving doesn’t have to be limited to the bedroom. Her house is filled with places to do the horizontal polka. She likes being the aggressor from time to time………well most of the time. Being the initiator is a great turn-on for most men. It makes for a hellacious orgasmic night of passion, fireworks, or perhaps the neighbors knowing more than just your name 😉

This conversation took place a couple of weeks ago. It was Sasha, two other women and me. I was the only single woman and I really enjoyed hearing what they had to say about sex after marriage. Especially Sasha!!! By the end of the conversation, she started having flashbacks of nights of ecstasy with her hubby.  She told us she had to leave. She and her husband were going to be home alone and she had to get her freak on! Too be honest, I think the other ladies went home and took advantage of their husbands in a kinky sexy kind of way. Perhaps E.L. James should write a book about Sasha’s sex life. Fifty Shades of Sasha 😉

According to this article, it isn’t a myth that women stop having sex after marriage.  One thing is for certain, there is always an outlier. Just look at Sasha. She has been married for 15 years and still getting it!

Her last words were………..if my husband cheats or has ever cheated, it’s not or wouldn’t be because he isn’t fulfilled sexually. She declares she brings her A game to the bedroom.

To all the married women……….Have you stopped having sex since being married? Are you still getting it in like Sasha? What are your thoughts?

To all the married men………..Are you in a sexless marriage or are you getting the good-good from your wife? Share your thoughts.

Single people you are more than welcome to chime in.


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