Category Archives: Reveries and Rambles of Moi

It’s Been A Long Time……

It’s been a long time , shouldn’t have left you, without a strong rhyme to step to. ~Eric B & Rakim

Ok so maybe I’m not a lyrist, but I think that line is dope!

It has been such a long time since I have blogged. A lot has happened since I have graced you with a post. Let’s see where do I start…………First and foremost let me say I finished my dissertation….I am officially Dr. Truthseeker411. I had my final defense March 19, 2014 and graduated May 9, 2014. I will never forget those dates. That’s why I have been MIA. I had to buckle down and finish the big D. I made the decision back in August 2013 that I was graduating May 2014. I had to make that ish happen for my sanity. Therefore, blogging was pushed to the back burner. I really, really missed blogging during the time I was writing my dissertation.

You’re probably thinking what the hell have I been doing since then. Well after graduation I had surgery and then that turned into a nightmare. I ended up in the hospital for an infection. Arghh!!! I was there for about a week, and then I had to recover from that ish.  After recovery, I thought I was ready to blog again. I was wrong, so so wrong. I tried writing and I just couldn’t. I even tried to start reading books again because I am such an avid reader…….Wrong again! What the hell is wrong with me, I thought. I finally figured out what was wrong with me. My body, mind, and soul needed a long break after long grueling nights at the computer reading, researching, and writing. Basically, I have been on sabbatical. Now it is a year later and I have been thinking I really miss blogging. One of my sister friends asked when was I going to start blogging.  Actually more than one sister friend asked. I hear you ladies. It’s time to start again!

There is so much that has happened however, I can put it all in one blog post. Stay tuned!!

P.S. I really, really miss blogging!

Dr. Truthseeker


The Ladies and the Season for Open Toed Shoes

Ladies it’s spring and I know we are ready to rock the latest open toed shoe. You’ve seen this before in email chains, if not check it out. Before you go struttin your stuff, stand up and take the pledge.

The Open Toed Shoe Pledge

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.  I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow. I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won’t wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won’t duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl’s if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids’ sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip-flops that I will make sure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season  at least once a month and have a real pedicure (they range from $15-$30 and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear… nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

Please share with your sista friends!

Happy Spring!!!


I’ll Be Back

It’s been a while been a while since I’ve posted about some of my random truths or falsities about dating 🙂 I’ve been bogged down in dissertation shiggity. Chapter 2 (the Lit Review) is no joke. The deadlines have been mad crazy and the professor/editor is a beast with the red pen. I get comments like……..Truthseeker, your writing is great but double-check your APA and cite everything. Hello….What the hell do you think I have been doing?!?!? The entire paper is full of citations because I can’t share my own ideas at this point. All I do is research, read, write, and cite. Ok I digress……….. The light is slowly peeping through the tunnel.

This is what my life is like at the moment.

I will be back soon with some random ish about dating but for now I want to share a site with you. This guy over at The Black Dating Blog, recently published a post titled “Top 100
Family, Marriage, and Relationship Blogs for African-Americans”. The Truth About Dating is on the list 🙂 I applaud him for pulling together a list of bloggers with different perspectives. Please go check it out:  Thank you Joseph Atkins!

Don’t forget to send your burning dating questions to Answers will be posted on Fridays. Also if you have a Truth About Dating Story you want to share, please do. Contact me at

Laters Baby,


A Look at 2012 in Blogging

Happy New Year Truthseeker Fans!!!!!

Since starting this blog in July 2011, I have definitely grown. I started under the name Truthseeker411 and later revealed my identity to family and friends. I changed the title and the layout of the blog.  It was definitely a slow but fun start. I am grateful for the support of friends, family, and other people who have taken the time to read my rants and ramblings.  As for 2012, my fan base has increased. I have more subscribers and that’s a good thing. I’ve had guest bloggers, won two awards, and  established friendships with a few fellow bloggers. Twenty Twelve has been nice for The Truth About Dating. With that being said, here are the blog stats for 2012:

  • The Truth About Dating was viewed 28,000 times in 2012
  • There were 59 blog posts 2012. That brings the total to 91 posts.
  • There were visitors from the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom.

Here are the Top 5 Posts written by Truthseeker of 2012….

  1. Friends With Benefits vs Cut Buddies
  2. A Deadly Lie
  3. Questions Single Women (0ver 30) Love to Hate
  4. Shades of Love
  5. 10 Things Men and Women Lie About in Relationships

Top 5 Posts written by other bloggers/guest bloggers that was shared on my site…….

  1. Six Different Types of 35 Year Old Men
  2. What Do Black Men Think of Black Women’s Natural Hair
  3. For the Love of Our Black Sisters
  4. Forbidden Love: Interracial Relationships
  5. Seven Different Types of 35 Year Old Women

  My vision for 2012 was to:

  • Increase my fan base…..mission accomplished
  • Have a few guest bloggers………mission accomplished
  • Get more feedback or comments……a work in progress
  • Start Date Night Chronicles (Real dating experiences)…….mission accomplished
  • Have  over 100 posts by the end of 2012…….Almost….91 posts

My vision for 2013…..

  • Continue to increase my fan base
  • Get more feedback and comments (establish a community)
  • Have over 150 posts by the end of 2013
  • Start an Ask Peter Black Column

Twenty Twelve was amazing!! Let’s make Twenty Thirteen more amazing!!

Which post did you like the best? Which post do you think should have made it to the Top 5? What are your plans for 2013?


Click here to see the complete report

A Day in the Life: Random Ish of 2012


Twenty Twelve wasn’t an explosive year for me but I did accomplish a few things and it was an enjoyable year. One thing I accomplished was completing my coursework and starting the beginning phase of writing my dissertation. I began my program the summer of 2010.  It feels great to be one step closer to being Dr. Truthseeker.  Another accomplishment was totally rocking and embracing my natural hair. I started the journey in 2011 and now I am 95.5% natural. Sharing posts about dating, love, relationships, random rants, and issues with you is truly rewarding and an ongoing accomplishment. I’m looking forward to moving forward in Twenty Thirteen.

Now check out pics of the random ish I did in 2012………


Girl’s Night Out at Characters…Them heffas didn’t tell me to fix my shirt!(February 2012)


The Bonds of Sisterhood

Hanging out at Shaggy’s on the beach after attending a cookout (March 2012) 


Happy Cinco de Mayo!! Hmmm I think…maybe it was another function. We still look fly 🙂


Doing my thing at the crib #curlypuff


Hot Summer Nights at the Beau!!


My girl Boho Chic (red shirt) had to make a grand exit for her going away party. She threw a Fifty Shades of Going Away Brunch! The food was stupendous! The party favors were the! We had handcuffs made of chocolate, sugar cookies with sayings from the book, masks, and oh an appearance from Christian Grey himself in Charlie Tango. #fiftyshadesoffun


Waiting for Christian Grey in the Red Room of Pain!


My Top Model Twin Friend. We were born on the same day, same month, same year, same hospital! That ish is crazy!

Chocolate Trouble & Red Head Bandit (She swears that I had Red Hair when I was younger.)


Fifty Shades of Going Away! (September 2012)

Boho Chic make us proud in Italy 🙂


I’m about that Glamorous Life! Smile for the camera now flick, flick, flick! Naturally Me


Rockin the Curly Fro at the All Black Party in NOLA! (November 2012)


Family Times!

My cuz is on the journey #naturalhair!


The bigger the better! Twist-N-Curl


Looking back at the pics I took in 2012 makes me love my natural hair. I can be curly, straight, rock a fro or puff.

Thank you for reading by blog and taking part in my shenanigans! Be careful and be safe! Much love!

Happy Holidays from Truthseeker!!

A Special Message to Truthseeker Fans

Thank you so much for supporting this blog!



What are your holiday plans?

Happy Thanksgiving

This is a shout out to all my followers, fans, and random guests! There are many things to be thankful for, so as you eat and fellowship with family and friends, take a moment for reflection. I’m wishing everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving! I am grateful that you guys take the time to read my blog.

Ok it’s well after midnight. I baked 7-up pound cake, cooked chicken tetrazzini, and made deviled eggs… contribution to Thanksgiving dinner. I’m tired….time for bed. I couldn’t let the day go by and not with you guys a Happy Turkey Day. Enjoy your day and stay tuned 🙂

What are your Thanksgiving plans? What are you thankful for this year? What did you cook? Please share!!


Dance With Me

Baila conmigo, vamos a bailar con mi bebé!

Since I have completed my coursework and will not start on my dissertation until October, I have some free time on my hands. Now you would think I would just relax and savor the moment of not having to do research, research, and more research. Oh no! I have to find something to get into. Last year, I took a cake decorating class. This year I’ve decided to take Ball Room Dance Lessons. I’ve always wanted to learn all the Latin dances and now I am going to learn them and more much. I have talked about this with friends for years. I am excited the opportunity presented itself. The defining moment was when I was out with friends this summer. I danced with a young, handsome papi that knew his ish on the dance floor. We danced and danced. He taught me the basic steps of the Merengue. I tried my best to keep up with his smoothness and swagga on the dance floor. He was polite and indulged me and my fancy footwork.

After researching dance studios, I enrolled in a beginner’s class. It’s been a couple of weeks and my hour-long sessions have been exhilirating, exhausting, and enlightening. I am having so much fun. I’ve been told by my teacher that I am a quick learner and a natural. Hmmm………I think she is being nice. The first  dance I learned was the East Coast Swing. It’s fast with a lot of twists and turns. My teacher asked me to stay for the next class. I eagerly agreed because learning the Salsa was on the agenda. Muy Sexy! We learned the basic steps and a few turns. We practiced with partners and then towards the end we switched partners. Damn it was fun! My feet were killing me by the end of the night but that didn’t stop me. I.Was.A.Dancing. Diva.

My new hobby got me to thinking that this would be a great thing for couples to do together. It’s a cool and fun way to spice of your relationship. It’s a good workout and you can spend quality time together. Being that close to each other can reignite the flames. It may also be a fun first, second, or third date. It’s definitely different from the typical dinner and a movie. Fellas, what a way to impress a lady! Singles it’s a wonderful way to meet new people. Don’t knock it until you try it.  I say put on your dancing shoes and let the magic begin!

All this dancing, made me remember a song by Debelah Morgan.

 Click here to check out the video Dance With Me

P.S. When my dance moves are tight, I’m going to find that young, handsome, papi and make him dance with me! #blatinaprincess


Why Is Mississippi Offended?

As most of you know I am from Mississippi and we are being affected by Hurricane Issac. It’s ironically the 7th Anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. I will never ever forget the devastation we suffered here on the MS Gulf Coast. The sad part is many people didn’t acknowledge Mississippi. The focus was mostly on New Orleans. I am not trying to discount what happened in NOLA but the MS Gulf Coast was heavily affectedas well. I am ranting about this because once again there’s no acknowledgement. The Weather Channel referred to us as a  land mass. WTF!! This post was written by a woman who feels exactly how I along with many other Mississippians feel.

Why is Mississippi offended?

It’s true, I was born and raised on the other side of the world.  I come from a culture that is very laid back, and in general, Aussies are not easily offended.  As an individual I’m simply not easily offended at all.  Often I do think people need to ‘chill out’ and let things roll off them, “like water off a ducks back”.    However, this time, I don’t think that at all.

When the Weather Channel, while talking about Hurricane Isaac, referred to the state of Mississippi as “that landmass between Louisiana and Alabama”, Mississippian‘s were upset, to some degree.  My first instinct would usually be to just ignore it, but let’s think about it for a minute. Is this overreacting? I don’t think so.

Many coastal towns of Mississippi were completely obliterated from Katrina. Hurricane-force winds lasted over 17 hours, spawning 11 tornadoes, 55-foot waves, and producing a 28-foot storm surge which flooded 12 miles inland.  Think about that – 12 miles from the actual shore line was underwater.

Many were unable to evacuate and only survived by climbing onto rooftops. Can you even imagine going through that?  The worst property damage from Katrina occurred on the Mississippi coast, where all towns flooded over 90%, and waves caused the destruction of many historic buildings. Taller buildings were destroyed up to the 3rd story.  Think about that for a minute.

More than one million people in Mississippi were affected by the overwhelming devastation. The Gulf Coast of Mississippi suffered almost total devastation from Hurricane Katrina on August 28–29 and caused an estimated US$125 billion in damages.

As just one example, the city of Waveland was wiped out and all that was left were concrete slabs where buildings used to be.  That’s just some of the facts and figures, but let me tell you what I saw with my own eyes.

When I first came to Mississippi back in 1997, I remember being on the coast and looking at the casinos dotted along the coastline.  They all had their flashing lights and attention grabbing casino signs offering their best deals on room rates and casino gaming.  As I stood looking at the coastline from the third story window of a coastal hotel, I made a comment that I was trying to imagine what the coast looked like, way back when.  Before people came to the area and built houses, shops, and hotels.  Before the lights and cars and before the water’s edge was dotted with floating casinos.  I was trying to imagine what it would look like, especially at night, without all the bright lights from the casinos saturating the coastline at night.

It was quite some time later when I no longer had to imagine.  I was in Biloxi, some time after Katrina – long before any recovery had occurred on the coast.  I stood and looked out over that same coastline and I could see what I had years before only imagined.  The coast was no longer lit with lights from casinos, or from anywhere.  The shoreline was dark. Nothing was left.   There was one line of lights along part of the coastal highway, the part that didn’t wash away, and only a few lights dotted here and there for miles inland.   I had seen the destruction during the daylight hours, it was immense and staggering to see.  But when I stood there and saw the darkness of the night the contrast from the saturating light that used to be there was just as sobering.

I can’t describe to you the destruction better than photos can, so I invite you to look at these photos (link below) – all of Mississippi – you know, that landmass between Louisiana and Alabama.  That landmass who suffered the most astonishing destruction, 7 years ago.  It’s painful to Mississippian’s that the media focused so much on New Orleans back then, while Mississippi looked at the overwhelming loss it suffered, seemingly ignored by the rest of the country who were being told by TV stations that the only destruction was in NOLA .  What happened in NOLA was horrible, without question, and my heart broke for the people of NOLA no less than it did for the people of all states where Katrina caused devastation.  What hurts Mississippians is that NOLA was the main focus of both media and politicians.  Mississippi set about the task of rebuilding and recovery, but it is tiring to continue, even now, 7 years later, to keep hearing from people all around the country that Mississippi was hardly touched.  That is simply staggering to hear when you know just how devastating Katrina was for Mississippi.

When people discount what happened here, it’s twisting the knife a little more.  Yes, NOLA flooded because the levies broke. I doubt there is a single Mississippian who does not feel terrible about that and feel for everyone who suffered loss from that devastating event.   But please, America, do not close your eyes to the utter destruction that other areas suffered.  Do not be led by media to believe that Mississippi was not involved.  And for heaven’s sake, DO NOT refer to Mississippi so flippantly as to call it ‘that landmass’, because THIS landmass was systematically wiped out in places by Hurricane Katrina and by God, Mississippian’s most certainly DO have a right to be offended and upset by the constant and continued discounting of their suffering. On the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, no less.

I’m Australian, I wasn’t born in Mississippi, but I have lived here for quite a number of years and although I know Mississippian’s do not need me to defend them, this is my adopted home and I certainly will stand up and defend her when necessary.

Stop perpetrating the erroneous comments that Mississippi was unaffected by Katrina.  Take a minute to look for yourself and see just how much Mississippi suffered.  Once you’re done educating yourself, and others, take a moment to consider just how tough Mississippi is – because the people of this state picked themselves, and others, up and pushed on.   Even so, that doesn’t mean it’s okay to refer to MS as ‘that landmass’, because Mississippi deserves more respect than that.

Considering the level of destruction that happened 7 years ago, it’s disrespectful and downright wrong to disregard Mississippi in such a way.  So yes, I think Mississippi does have the right to find that offensive.  I personally find it offensive that so much of the country STILL don’t realize what happened here 7 years ago.

Open your eyes, and see:

Written by Miranda Jordan, an Aussie – who lives in MS.

Feel free to ‘share’ this.  It’s time people realized what happened here.

Thank you Miranda Jordan!!


A Day of Celebration

It has been a year already! I am so glad I started this blog. I have come across so many wonderful bloggers. I am so grateful for my small network of fellow bloggers. They are very supportive. I am also grateful for my followers and subscribers. Thank you so much for taking the time to read The Truth About Dating. Thanks to all of my family and friends who have supported and encouraged me through this blogging experience. Especially my best friend who says she has read every post—Smooches Bestie (S.T.)!! Thanks to WordPress for providing me and so many others with this platform.

It’s funny I wrote my first post on the Fourth of July! Independence Day……How ironic!! With that being said…………

Also stay tuned! There might be a few give-a-ways to celebrate my blog anniversary 🙂

Which post did you enjoy the most?

Much Love,


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