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Category Archives: Truth About Dating Stories

Your Truth About Dating Story 12-4-12

I received this email from Mary (Chocolate Carnel) last week……

Comment: I met this man from Jamaica and we been talking for three years now.  I have been to Jamaica three times to spend time with him.  I tried hard not to fall in love with him but it happen.  The last  time I was in Jamaica things were very distant with him and I’m afraid that things are ending.  Now I understand a  lot of things much better. I believe there is another in his life and yet it hurts me bad.  I keep asking myself why because I was very real about how I felt about him.  Now my heart is so confused.

Hey Mary,

I apologize for the delay in responding. You weren’t forgotten. Peter Black has a few things to share with you about your situation. I hope this helps. Thank you for reading and supporting my blog. Check out what he has to say!

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“When you’re dreaming with a broken heart, giving up is the hardest part.”

                                                                                                       John Mayer

Dear Ms. Three Times

            I remember my younger days, imitating superheroes, bike riding, climbing, falling and eventually injury.  LOL!  With sidewalk tumbles came scrapes, bruises, brush burns and Band-Aids.  Good old Bands-Aids, my mother’s favorite, blocked dirt, caught everything it touch and hurt like hell when it was removed.  To this day, I cringe at the thought, the slow peel burning my skin.  However, over the years, I learned that a quick rip was the best approach.  J

This may hurt a bit but I’ll try the quick rip approach.  If your gut is telling you things have gone awry, they probably have.  Three years of dating is more than enough time to develop your “Spidey Sense.”  Although under utilized, intuition is one of our most valuable gifts and in most cases we don’t use it.  While I don’t suggest snooping or evading privacy; pay attention.

I have a feeling it will be confirmed.

Sincerely,

Peter Black aka Benghazi

Truthseeker fans, what do you think of Peter Black’s advice? Do you agree or disagree? What should Mary do about her situation?

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Your Truth About Dating Story 12-3-12

A commenter shared her story after reading my blog post Friends With Benefits vs Cut Buddies. FWBs are so relevant now. More and more, people find themselves entangled in this type of relationship. Instead of me sharing my thoughts about the situation, Peter Black has decided to give his male perspective.

Comment: Confused…I have what I believe is an fwb relationship except for the fact that the guy says we only see each other and no one else and calls me his girlfriend, he wants no emotional attachment and no future just wants to be in the moment. We have been dating (or whatever this is) for 5 months and he is also very jealous. When I approached him with my confusion his response was “do you think i should be going ga-ga over you?” How do you have a non-emotional relationship with someone who wants nothing more than to have fun, dinners, hanging out holidays together and we both have children that also are part of this relationship we do stuff with them and still call it fwb? I am fine with the fwb relationship just confused on what he wants from this since I don’t get any answers. Men really are from another planet I think, lol

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Confuse: [kuh n-fyooz] to fail to distinguish between; associate by mistake; confound:

Dear Ms. Confused

Thank you on two fronts.  First, thank you for following The Truth About Dating.  Without readers, blogging is simply talking to one’s self. 🙂  Second, it takes courage to leave a comment, exposing you and your situation.  We applaud your effort and again we say thank you!

It’s been 5 months, you’re confused, somewhat emotionally attached and I can see why.  The actions or the things you two do go beyond the organic definition of friends with benefits, in particularly exclusivity.  While you and he have a fantastic modified version of friends with benefits, it’s still like leaving the milk out of the frig; it’s going to go bad.

To avoid the disastrous ending, at least for you, seek clarity in two areas, confirming the status and the direction in which things are headed.  I know.  I know.  You’ve asked before and he hasn’t responded.  However, try this approach.  Let him know your questioning is not an attempt at marriage or a long-term commitment.  Tell him you’re asking out of respect, as you don’t want to disrespect him in any way like having him see you out on a date with another person.

For now you’re satisfied. But, who knows what may come in the next 5 months, hopefully more benefits with your new friend.  🙂  However, remember, be honest with yourself and him, acknowledging when things have changed and you begin to want more.

Sincerely,

Peter Black

Are there any other words of encouragement for confused?  Please share!

Truthseeker411

Your Truth About Dating Story 5-13-12

It’s been a while since we have had a Your Truth About Dating Story. I received this email from N.L. in Chicago, a few weeks ago.

Comment: Hey truthseeker411,

I read your post FWB vs Cut buddy. It was very insightful. However, I have an issue. I am seeing this guy and we decided to label our relationship fwb, since we both are not ready to be in a relationship. We are both seeking companionship. The issue is he never calls, he sends occasional text messages. We never hang out in public like go grab a bite to eat or go to the movies. We are always at either my house or his. When we are together we laugh, talk, and have a lot of fun. It just isn’t sex. I get the feeling we are cut buddies but when I ask him, he says no we are more than a rumble in the hay. I expected us to do things together and talk on the phone occasionally. That’s what I signed up for as a fwb. When I read your post, you defined fwb how I expected it to be. My guy friend isn’t holding up his end.I would really like us to continue as fwb. I’m not sure how to make him understand how I feel without coming off as a nagger. FWB is supposed to be stress free. What should I do?

Sincerely, N.L. in Chicago

Click Here to read Friends with Benefits vs. Cut Buddies http://wp.me/p1FYfJ-6b

Dear N.L.

First of all I want to thank you for reading my blog. Secondly, I apologize for not responding promptly. I have been swamped with school work and it has been hard to keep up with my blog. Nonetheless, I am here now.

It’s sounds like you guys are on two different pages when it comes to how you define FWB. When you guys decided to be FWB, did you guys discuss at length exactly what you were looking for and your meaning of FWB? I ask this because people tend to have different definitions of FWB. There are several blog posts on the topic. My definition goes along with the Urban Dictionary. Also make sure you are not developing feeling sfor this guy. That’s one of the common reasons why FWB do not work. You’re right it is supposed to be stress free. You have to be comfortable and in agreement with the arrangement. That’s why it is important that both of you have an understanding of what the other wants. I say talk to him and tell him what you want. Then see of that is what he wants and go from there. The most important thing is to not settle for the arrangement if you are not happy with it. You have to be willing to walk away from it or it will continue to stress you out.

Alright Truthseeker fans…………what advice do you have for N.L.?

Truthseeker411

Your Truth About DatingStory 9-28-11

Hey Truthseeker,

This is not really a truth about a liar story but I still wanted to share. This is actually a good story. I read your post “Shades of Love” and I must say it was a very good post and very relevant. I am currently dating a hispanic guy.We have been dating for almost a year now. This is my first time stepping out of my comfort zone and I must say it is not bad all. I was skeptical at first for many reasons but I really enjoy being with my guy. He is a very good guys and treats me very well.Of course we have culture differences but I embrace it. Both of our families are comfortable with it. We do get stares from time to time from random people. I am so glad I stepped out of my comfort zone of just dating black men. Don’t get me wrong I still have love for black men. Truthseeker thank you for sharing that post with the world. It gave me courage to share my story.

Annoymous Black Woman in Texas

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Dear Anonymous Black Woman in Texas,

Thank you so much for sharing your story!! I am so glad you had the courage to try something new. I am also glad it is working out. I think other women who are considering dating beyond the color will find this helpful no matter what race they are. It would be great if you kept all us in truthseeker land posted on your new adventure. I really appreciate you taking interest in blog. Good Luck! And until next time…………..Live, Love, Laugh

Truthseeker411

Your Truth About Dating9-12-11

Hey Truthseeker,

Here is my truth about a liar story. I am having a hot and steamy fling with my boss. It’s has been going on since the beginning of the year. It’s a lot of fun but I think people at work are starting to notice. I don’t want that to happen. Oh by the way, my boss isn’t married. He’s divorced but he isn’t looking for anything serious and neither am I. I am really enjoying him but I don’t want this to affect the work environment. I’m starting to get weird stares from people. What should I do?

R Scott from Atlanta

Dear R Scott from Atlanta,

I love that you are having fun but it is tough to pull off those workplace romances. They can become very tricky. I have always been told “Don’t play where you get your pay”.  The good news is that your boss isn’t married….Whew!!!! The bad news is if people at work have noticed, then let the gossip begin. I don’t recommend workplace romance but you are already involved. I would say try to be as discreet as possible, watch where you go in public, watch the flirting in the office, don’t tell anyone, and don’t let it affect your work. You and your boss have been hanging out since the beginning of the year, that’s a little long for a fling. Be careful!

Truthseeker411

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Dear Truthseeker411,

I just have to share my truth about a liar story. Last fall I met this guy in the military. I went to visit him in January and we had a wonderful time. It was supposed to be a weekend trip but I got snowed in. My flight was cancelled. Anyway, the guy all of sudden started acting different. It was very awkward. I couldn’t wait ti get home. I was finally able to go home. Well once I got home I found out that the guy was married. he had gotten married 2 weeks prior to me coming to visit. His wife is also in the military and she was stationed somewhere else. I was so pissed with him. I confronted him and of course he tried to lie but I knew better. He told me to never call him again and that’s when I had to get my sweet little revenge. A few weeks later I told him I was pregnant. He started freaking out and saying it’s not mine and I can’t deal with this right now. I kept this going for months and he didn’t want anything part of this. He was so afraid his wife was going to find out. I was laughing on the inside. I know it was mean but I had to get him back. LOL I just had to share this story.

Yours truly,

Scandalous in MS

Dear Scandalous in MS,

You are too much for words! I don’t think I could do something like that even though the guy is a jerk. I can’t believe he was cheating on his wife 2 weeks after the wedding. I’m sure you scared him pretty good. Hopefully he will think twice about cheating again. I don’t condone or promote revenge but this was pretty damn funny.

Shaking my damn head,

Truthseeker411

Do you have any advice or comments for R Scott and Scandalous?

Crazy Week/Your Truth About Dating

It’s been one of those weeks. I could make up excuses but I won’t. Truthseeker has been swamped at work and extremely tired. I will return by the end of the week with a new post. It happens to the best of us. However; I do have a Your Truth About a Liar  for you…………..

Dear Truthseeker411,

I really f****d things up with my girl! I hung out with one of her best friends and we had sex. I did it because I thought she was messing around with her ex because I saw calls from him on her phone and someone saw them at the mall. I later found out it was not what I thought. I feel really bad and I am afraid I am going to lose her. She doesn’t know yet and I am torn between telling her or not telling her. What the f*** should I do?

That’s my truth about a liar!

Stupid F*** from NYC

Dear Stupid F***,

All I can say is WOW!!!  That was pretty low and I can’t believe you did that to your girlfriend. What ever happened to communication? If you were worried about her creeping with her ex, why didn’t you ask? Then you slept with her bestfriend to top it all off. You better be prepared to lose her if you do tell her. If you don’t tell her, I think it will be revealed eventually. Basically it’s a catch 22. Secrets like that never stay hidden. You are in some deep shit and you better hope she can forgive you when the truth does come out. That was definitely a stupid move and it just may cost you.

Sincerely,

Truthseeker411

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Ok everyone what do you think? Please give input to Stupid F*** from NYC.

Your Truth About a Liar 8-5-11

This is our first Your Truth About a Liar story. Check it out!

Dear Truthseeker411,

I have a truth about a liar story for you. I am pregnant and the guy that thinks he is the father isn’t. I told him I was pregnant and he just assumed he was the father. We dated for a little while and broke things off. I started hanging out with another guy and we were intimate. A few weeks later me and the other guy was intimate. I believe I was pregnant already. I was trying to tell both guys but my ex is really excited about being a father. The other guy doesn’t know yet. Either way it’s going to be drama.

Yours truly,
Scared from Alabama

Dear Scared from Alabama,
You are in a dilemma! The thing is there is no way around the truth. You are going to have to be honest with both men. They deserve to know. I am sure a DNA test is in order, so you may want to think about that. The sooner you tell the truth the better off you will be. Things like this never stay hidden. I hope this helps. Best of luck to you!
Truthseeker 411

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